For four years of high school I did not clean my Baritone Horn once, nor my trumpet, nor my trombone. I was what is known as a “lackluster musician.” Now, that million$ are at stake, I made the connection between the otherworldly, Cthulhu-summoning sounds emitting from Bucephalus and the notion that perhaps the horn was innercaked with years of sludge.

So I learned on the Internet how to clean the thing, and above you see Step One: Bathe That Shit. 36 hours later my horn is loud, sweet, and clear, slathered with essential oils and greases, and rid of decades of Only-the-Los-Angeles-DWP-Knows-for-Sure.

See you this weekend at Pappy & Harriet’s.

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