LOS ANGELES—Responding to United Nation estimates that the world population has surpassed 7 billion, Fogelfoot today announced plans to rock them.
“Perhaps even rock the shit out of them,” Fogelfoot added. “If the venue has appropriate drainage.”
Since Bon Jovi’s 1990 song “Dead Or Alive,” in which Mr. Jovi reported that he had “seen a million faces, and [had] rocked them all,” the world population has grown by 2 billion.
And according to Fogelfoot, auto-hailed as America’s Alternate History Band, its appeal as an aggregator, synthesizer, innovater, and regurgitator of popular song trends casts a wider net than the band from New Jersey.
“Bon Jovi had better hold on to what they got,” Fogelfoot said, “because we are going to rock the faces of 6,999,999,000 more people than they.”
Fogelfoot, which recently played for an audience numbered “in the high 30s” in Sherman Oaks, California, estimates it will reach the 7 Billion Faces Rocked goal by 2317.
“By that point we expect the population to have stabilized back to a Book of Genesis-friendly 37,” Fogelfoot said, “so we’ll probably find some place in New Sherman Oaks for the show, outside the Sentient Bacteria Zone.”